Let's be honest for a second. Having a big camera aimed directly at your face is an inherently weird, unnatural experience. For most people who aren't professional models or actors, the second a lens comes their way, they suddenly forget how to stand, where to put their hands, and how to make a normal human facial expression. We have all seen that panicked, frozen-in-time smile. As photographers, it is so ridiculously easy to get caught up in our aperture rings and light meters, completely forgetting that our friend on the other end of the barrel is internally screaming.

I firmly believe that making your subject feel comfortable is at least eighty percent of the job when shooting portraits. If they feel awkward, they will look awkward. No amount of perfect golden hour lighting, expensive film stock, or incredibly sharp vintage glass is going to fix a stiff, terrified posture. I used to struggle with this a lot when I first started taking portraits of my friends. I would just say, "act natural," which is honestly the single worst direction you can possibly give someone.

Over the years, I've learned that it is my job as the photographer to guide them out of that nervousness. You have to take the mental load off their shoulders. Here is exactly how I direct people who usually feel super awkward in front of a camera, without making the whole experience feel like a painful visit to the dentist.

Start Without the Camera in Your Hand

The biggest mistake you can make is walking up to your subject, instantly raising the camera to your eye, and expecting magic right away. That immediately establishes a weird power dynamic where you are the observer and they are a specimen under a microscope. Before you even snap a single frame, just hang out for a bit.

I usually like to get a coffee together beforehand or just walk around the shooting location for ten minutes. Talk about their week, laugh about a movie you both saw, or just complain about the weather. Let them see you as a regular person first. I will overtly leave my camera hanging down on my camera strap or sitting down on the table while we chat. By the time I actually raise the camera to take a photo, the ice is fully broken. The energy is conversational rather than performative.

Stop Asking People to Smile

Telling someone who is already nervous to just smile almost always guarantees you will get a fake, strained grin. It engages the muscles around their mouth but leaves their eyes looking completely dead and wide.

Instead of asking for a smile, your goal is to naturally elicit a real reaction. If I want someone to actually laugh, I might say something totally absurd or tell a terrible, dry dad joke. Sometimes I just ask them to give me their most serious, intensely moody fashion glare. Usually, they try to do it, feel completely ridiculous acting so stern, and instantly break out into a genuine, relaxed laugh. That exact moment of breaking character is when you press the shutter. That is where all the real, beautiful micro-expressions happen.

Fix the Age-Old Hand Problem

Seriously, hands are the number one cause of portrait awkwardness. When we are waiting for the bus, our arms hang perfectly fine, but the second a camera comes out, hands suddenly become these clumsy alien appendages that nobody knows what to do with. Give their hands a job. This is the oldest trick in the photography book, but it works every single time. Here are some easy ways to give hands a purpose:

• Ask them to hold onto an object like a coffee cup, a pair of sunglasses, or a book.
• Have them interact with an item of clothing, like softly fixing their collar, holding their jacket lapels, or checking their watch.
• Tell them to put one hand in their pocket, but casually make sure they leave their thumb hanging out so it doesn't look like they have a missing hand.
• Ask them to run a hand slowly through their hair or hold onto the strap of their bag.

When their hands have a physical task to do, their brain entirely stops panicking about them, and the posture of their upper body naturally relaxes.

Direct Scenarios and Movement, Not Specific Poses

When you over-direct by saying things like, "Move your chin up a fraction, shift your weight, and tilt your body slightly right," your subject abandons all natural grace. They turn into a robot trying to execute computer code. Focus on general movement instead.

Ask them to slow-walk toward you like they are trying to sneak out of a boring party unnoticed. Tell them to turn away, take a massive deep breath, and look over their shoulder back at you right on the exhale. Have them spin around and drop their shoulders. Movement forces the body to reset and breaks up the stiffness. Even if the final photo you want is a static portrait, having them move immediately before stopping in place will give you a posture that is dynamic and grounded rather than stiff and forced.

Talk Constantly While You Shoot

Dead silence is terrifying for a portrait subject. If you are just staring at them through a viewfinder for twenty seconds in complete silence while you fiddle with your shutter speed dial, their internal monologue is going to be screaming about how terrible they must look.

You have to vocalize what is happening. Give them constant, positive reassurance. Say things like, "Yes, that is perfect right there," or "Hold that pose, the light looks amazing on you." If you need an extra second to change an exposure setting, just tell them. "Keep relaxing, I'm just stopping down my lens really quick. Okay, perfect, looks great." Be their hype person. If they think they are absolutely crushing the shoot, they will start holding themselves with a lot more confidence naturally.

The Camera You Choose Changes the Vibe

Believe it or not, the gear you use really impacts how intimidated your subject feels. A massive modern digital camera with a giant zoom lens looks heavy and professional, but it can make people feel heavily scrutinized. This is one of the reasons I absolutely love shooting portraits with vintage gear.

Older cameras are fantastic conversation starters. When I pull out an old twin-lens reflex camera, the subject is usually genuinely fascinated by it. Because I am looking down into a waist-level finder instead of pointing a giant piece of glass directly into their eyes, the barrier between us is completely removed. I can hold eye contact with them over the top of the camera while we talk.

Even a small vintage rangefinder or a compact camera feels way less threatening. It feels more like a friend taking casual snapshots on a weekend road trip. The more relaxed your setup feels, the more relaxed your subject will act.

Wrap Up and Gear Check

At the end of the day, just give your subjects a little grace. Acknowledge the weirdness openly. Let them know it is totally expected if they feel awkward for the first five minutes. Naming the elephant in the room constantly takes the pressure off.

If you want to make your personal portrait sessions feel drastically less intimidating right from the start, maybe consider swapping your massive telephoto rig for something a little more elegant and friendly. Grabbing a simple prime lens makes your overall kit much smaller and far less aggressive, forcing you to step physically closer and interact more directly with whoever you are shooting. You might also want to look into styling up your rig so it looks like a fun personal accessory rather than scary professional machinery. If you are looking to change up your kit, check out the manual focus 50mm lenses we currently have in stock, or browse our comfortable camera straps to keep your gear approachable and easy to carry. Taking the technical intimidation out of the process is truly the best way to let your subject's real personality shine through.